today is the anniversary

Today is my one year anniversary of going into the hospital. Thank goodness I am really busy today and I can't dwell on things. This really messes with my mental health. It is such an odd anniversary. I am not sure ow to acknowledge it. Should I rejoice in being healthy? Am I even feeling remotely healthy? Should I celebrate what I have done in the last year? Feels like I have just stayed alive. Is that really a great accomplishment. Is it normal to feel like I wasted time? Should I cut myself some slack that it has taken me MONTHS to even feel a little bit better. I think I am just going to allow myself a bad mental health day.