work out

I just finished my work out with James. I still get nauseous, but at least that is coming later in the work out. Dr Mona said I should tell James to add more weight since building muscle will naturally lower my blood sugar. Boy James sure took that to heart! I have been tracking my blood sugars for Dr Mona, and they are really high. I can't wait to actually start working with her. I am very impatient about this observation stage. I have to get an eye exam done so we know there is no damage before we change up my regimen. I am SO anxious to get started! For now, I will go nurse my sore muscles and try to recover from today's workout. I worked out so hard my underpants fell down. Thankfully my pants stayed put, but it is very odd to feel your underpants go rolling down your belly. very discouraging. but I worked out hard, that belly is going to go away!!
Since I am charting my health, I should chart my workout too.
Weight: 227
Sit ups on the evil bench with the 10 pound ball: 75, without ball 25
Jumped rope for 10 miuntes (with breaks)
Evil step, with 10 pound weight: 200 times
frisbee weights forward and side, 3 sets of 20
squat with frisbee weights, 3 sets of 20.

Amazing Doctor appointment

Yesterday I had the most amazing doctor appointment with Dr Mona Morstein. She gave me all my statistics so I can post them here and track them openly. So here goes.
3/11/09
Weight: 223.6
% Body fat: 44.3
total body water: 40.5%
muscle mass: 118.2 pounds
lean muscle mass rating: 3
lean muscle percent: 52.8%
daily caloric intake: 2895
estimated bone mineral mass: 6.2 pounds
visceral body fat: 10%

The appointment lasted over 2 hours and I have never felt so thoroughly understood by a doctor in my life. I took away one life changing tidbit about diabetes. high blood sugar + dehydration= keto acidosis. She said is is very simple! At that moment, all the incredible fear I have felt for the past year absolutely melted away. That was the most liberating moment of my life. Since June I have been terrified of a return of DKA. I felt like I was walking through land mines every day, just praying that the apple I just ate, or the drink I had wasn't the one thing that was going to send me back to ICU.

That ONE dot of information made me feel powerful and in control.

This week I am to observe my blood sugar, and chart everything I eat. I have homework to read, and a few supplements to begin taking. My first order of business is a dilated eye exam to make sure I don't have any eye damage before I begin a new treatment schedule.

Even though I am only observing, I feel powerful and in control in a way I have not since last year. I absolutely can't wait to get past the observing and get to the doing. I feel like I am a rusty machine that is just barely starting to move again. Wow, it's exciting.

working out is painful!

I have done SOMETHING physical every day since my last workout with James, I did yoga on Wednesday and Thursday. I cleaned house of Friday. I don't care what anybody says that counts as exercise. On Saturday I went to the batting cages and then did dance dance revolution, and had a fun afternoon at Fiddlesticks. Very active. Well, I didn't do anything but recover on Sunday. So that was a tiny fib earlier. Today I am scheduled to go see James this afternoon, and I know it is going to hurt. It is hard to tell if this is all fibromyalgia pain caused by activity, or just plain old "I worked out hard and now my muscles are sore" pain. Either way it hurts. I feel a little stronger, and I sure was proud of myself for hitting so many softballs. I hit almost 40! I am feeling really sporty! Who knew?

No pain, no gain

Wow I am hurting today. My workout yesterday kicked my behind six ways from Sunday. I can barely life my arms. I did a bit of light yoga this morning, trying to stretch everything back out. My blood sugar was still very high this morning, and I have had to take insulin twice. I know this won't all change overnight. I have to learn patience to let things start working.... Maybe that is one of the lessons I am supposed to learn from all of this. Sometimes it is frustrating.

work out for body and spirit

I have had a few workouts with James since my last post. I have been embarrassed to blog about them. But I am trying to think of everything positively. At my workout prior to the butt kicking I received today, I started crying in the middle of it. I felt weak, I felt scared, and it was not very fun. Thankfully James is wonderful, and we had a little therapy session and I continued. I have been so upset by that, I finally figured that everything is coming up on the anniversary of my trip to ICU. I am doing the same things that I did at this time last year, and I am on a paralyzing thought path of, "did that make me sick?" Fear was my big reaction, I cancelled my appointment with Dr Morstein, I took a week off from James. I hid.
However, today, I walked into the light, I worked out so hard that my tummy hurt, and I rescheduled my appointment with Dr Morstein. My weight is completely out of control, but I know it is because of the amount of insulin I am taking. I feel like a rusted up machine, slowly trying to start working again. I know it is all connected, the more I work out, the better I eat, the less insulin I have to take, the better I feel. I KNOW that is how it works, it is so difficult to follow that path. Why is everything so scary right now?